Nothing

I have come to learn more people were used to reading this blog than I realized. As many of you know and some of you guessed, I have left ships. And land life is awfully redundant.

On ships you see new things every day which is not only inspiring but it also provides a wealth of material. On land, because you see the same place day in and day out, none of it pops out at you as particularly thought provoking or noteworthy.

Well, I stumbled upon something noteworthy, namely what I like to call Nothing. I have actually gone out of my way to see Nothing multiple times. I have dragged other people to see Nothing, cause it is such a kick. I have made sure people had some nothing to take home with them. I happen to really like Nothing.

So what is Nothing? Nothing is “The Nothing Machine.” It is a Rube Goldberg type machine which literally does “nothing” over and over and over again.

(If you are not familiar with Rube Goldberg, then you have missed a charming little idiosyncrasy of American culture. Rube Goldberg was briefly an engineer and a life long cartoonist. The cartoons that gained him lasting fame depicted overly engineered and generally convoluted machines which did the simplest or most mundane of tasks in a ridiculously complicated way.)

The Nothing Machine, approximately six feet tall, three feet wide and two feet deep, sculpted by Rodney Aguiar, utilizes an old typewriter in the center of mechanized classic motorcycle parts including several gears, chains, springs and pistons, to type “nothing” repeatedly. Hence, it is The Nothing Machine which literally does “nothing” over and over again. The curators are quick to tear off some paper with “nothing” on it so patrons can take a little bit of Nothing home with them.



(Sorry, the video quality isn't great.)



I have always liked Rube Goldberg machines, but this one with the added word-play dimension, very much entertained me.

I hope it entertained you as well.

Cool: The Nothing Machine.

Just Saturday Night Dinner

Crystal has provided me with a number of exceptional life experiences and tonight was another fine example.

I had dinner with former Miss USA/Miss Universe Brook Lee, 1976 swimming gold medalist Brain Goodell and Travel Channel personality Jon Ashton along with six friends and colleagues in the exclusive and private Vintage Room.

Dinner, an exquisite eight course meal prepared personally by a six-star cruise-ship’s executive chef, included a selection of eight remarkably fine wines, the likes of which I will probably never experience again. The head sommelier introduced each wine, described their exquisite attributes and why they complimented the particular course.

I got to hold an Olympic Gold metal, which was heavy, bigger and much more ornate than I expected. I got to learn what is in Miss USA’s very large purse… namely her crown and sash. I got to have an amazing eight course meal of lobster, foie gras, wagyu beef and much more.

And I had the pleasure of entertaining company.

It is a night I will remember.

(The meal was filmed for the Travel Channel. So I may be on TV, but I wouldn’t bet the gold on it.)

Cool: All of the above.
Stupid: Being too full for dessert!

What City? I Thought This Was A Mall.

Hong Kong, erroneously referred to as a city, is in fact the world’s biggest mall.

Hong Kong was a trip. It is huge on a scale that is almost beyond comprehension. I have been to New York and New York seems small in comparison. This perception has more to due with Hong Kong’s extraordinary density, the Kwun Tong District has 51,100 people per square km, than the city’s actual physical size. (New York’s densest district has a mere 42,300 people per square km.)

And the mall per capita ratio is pretty impressive.

I decided to go to Victoria Peak, the highest point of Hong Kong with a nice view of the city. I stepped off the ship directly into a mall, literally. To get anywhere from the ship you first had to travel through at least a quarter mile of mall (where I bought shoes). Then to get to the ferry you passed by a bunch more shops which was kind of like a mall (bought shoes there too). I took the ferry to the central district. I got turned around in the other ferry terminal and wound up in… a mall. (I did not buy shoes in this mall though I was tempted.) I took the bus to the tram and then the tram up to Victoria Peak, the highest point of the city, which of course, had a mall. (Luckily, no shoe shops.)

View from the peak, unfortunately it was a gray day:


But you are probably more interested in the flavor of Hong Kong. Hong Kong is a major city with ridiculously high high-rises on most of the land. The English colonialism seeps through and is obvious everywhere. Most signs are in English and Chinese, and a lot of places have very English names, like Victoria Peak, named for the Queen. Many people speak English and seem glad for the opportunity to practice.

In a lot of ways it is a city like any other, with Starbuck’s and 7-11s on every corner. (This sentence is evidence of a well weathered traveler, which is rather unfortunate. It is too bad I see Hong Kong and one of the thoughts in my mind is, “just another city.”)

There are very uniquely Asia aspects, such as the street solicitors trying actively to get you to come to their massage parlors or have a suit made by their tailor. There are advertisements for Karoke packages all over the place, which is something I would expect more in Japan.

I only had a few hours ashore and most of it was spent in the tourist district, not a true representation of the city. I don’t think there are “Armani Kids” stores in all the malls of Hong Kong. (Armani Kids!) It was certainly the westernized up-scale part of town.

I am disappointed to admit I missed the major markets, which are the Hong Kong version of a bazaar, and a must-see destination. Most people came back to the ship with the usual array of trinkets, like jade elephants, chopsticks, embroidered boxes, etc. I kept looking for something unique that I could not buy at my local Asian market and I never found that something. I am sure I would have found something at the major market places. (Everything we buy in the states seems to be made in China, so why am I surprised when I recognize most of what is being sold in China.)


We sailed out of Hong Kong at 8pm, when the light show is. I would guess at least thirty or so buildings were decorated with choreographed lights in all colors, intensities and patterns.




Hong Kong is definitely a city worth seeing, if only to appreciate its sheer mind-blowing size. It is Chinese enough to really appreciate the culture and English enough to travel easily without speaking Chinese.

And the food was unbelievable.

In the tourist areas, almost everything was also in English. That does not mean the English was perfect. I was on the lookout for “Engrishisms.” My favorite “Engrish” sign was, “Goods that will be damaged, must be compensated.” I have always been a sucker for well compensated goods.

Cool: Hong Kong in general.
Stupid: Armani Kids!

Sydney Opera House

I have never been one to be impressed with something simply because others are.

The Sydney Opera House falls into this description. I must admit, I was disappointed.



There were certainly inspiring aspects, most notably the superior and advanced engineering involved in a structure of such an unconventional shape.




As a visual array of lines, I think it must be mesmerizing in two dimensions.

But in three, well it just looks messy.





The glorious white shell is tiles, which destroy the shape’s smooth lines with an inconsistent lattice work.



It certainly has optimal viewing distances. Looking at it up close, and seeing all the tiles has a certain visual appeal. Seeing it from afar, where the tiles are smoothed out to a perfect shell, is also appealing. But the distance where you see the structure and the tiles, well, made me want to caulk around the tiles to smooth it out.

And I am sorry, but I just can’t help but think it looks like a broken dinosaur egg.

I don’t think it is as awe inspiring today as it was when it was built. If instead, you look at it as a period piece of the 60’s, it is ground-breaking.

I want to revitalize it by using colors to accentuate its more dramatic contours.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel privileged to have seen it, right out side my bedroom window no less. But it is certainly not on my list of things to return to.



Stupid: When real life falls so short of expectation.


Cool: Adventurous architecture of the 60’s, even if I personally don’t think it stood the test of time.



Cool: Anything that melds engineering and art for the common goal of aesthetic pleasure.

New Zealand Fjords

Fjords are something that growing up in California, I had never heard of. I don’t think I even heard of them until I was in my late twenties and five days away from the Norwegian Fjords.

Fjords are extraordinary. If you are an outdoor enthusiast or a nature lover, fjords should be your Mecca; you should make a trip at least once in your life.

Technically they are salt water inlets carved by glaciers between mountains. (How blah.)

In reality they a stunning green or icy gray granite vertical contrasts hugging placid richly colored water. (Not so blah.)

I love the Norwegian Fjords. The air is amazingly clear and everything has a surreal crisp quality. The mountains are dauntingly high, many capped with snow and many with hard granite faces. The Norwegian Fjords, in my experience (which also includes the Chilean Fjords) are the most spectacular, but they are COLD even on the hottest summer day.

New Zealand’s Fjords have rounder lower mountains and are extraordinarily lush. Not nearly as extreme as Norway’s, New Zealand’s Fjords have one thing I think is a deal breaker. It gets warm in the summer. This changes it from a sight to be seen into a place to be experienced. It is alive with birds and pods of dolphins and kayakers were constantly passing the ship. (Kayaking the New Zealand Fjords has now found a spot on my list of things I want to go back and do.) It made me want to go out and climb a fjord.


Pictures:

Norwegian Fjords:


New Zealand’s Milford Sound



Kayakers in New Zealand’s Fjords (see little orange dot in water, that is a two person kayak)



Boat in New Zealand’s Fjord (That white dot toward the bottom is a boat that seats something like 250 people. That gives you an idea of the size of the fjords.)



Stupid: That California doesn’t have any Fjords.
Cool: Fjords… just generally.