The tulips are lovely this time of year in Istanbul. Don’t
ask me how I know this. I am not really sure. I know I have been here at this
time of year, sometime in the past, but I could not tell you when or in what year.
This project is coming to an end, the launching of another
ship, after a grueling 30 days, many exceeded 16 working hours.
The last few hours I have been alone, for the first time in
weeks. It is startling in it contrast. It’s quiet, deafeningly, loudly in some
strange way, quiet.
No one calling, no one emailing, no one knocking, no one
speeding up to walk next to me as a transit from one place to the next, no
skype messages, no text messages, no PA announcements, no one “Can I have just
a minute?”
I am reminded, by this project, both of lure of working
cruise ships and its alarmingly precarious fulcrum quality, a peak between something I thoroughly
enjoy, like an addiction, and something more akin to incarceration.
Today, the majority of my team went home. The one that sang
at dinner, the stern mother hen, the silent one, the one with the childlike
curiosity of one who has never really traveled, the one that did impressions of
the lighting in the cabins (HYSTERICALLY), the brother I never had. The Brit and the one with the
completely out of place southern drawl let yesterday.
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One of the reasons I loved working cruise ships is because
it was a lot like college. You live, work and spend every waking moment with
your friends. The comradery and common
experience, despite almost literally world away cultural backgrounds, speaks to
the fundamental need and joy of being part of a tribe.
One of the reasons I left, is that strong tribal bond is as
intangible and consistent as the fog. Sometimes it is there, wonderful, and
makes the ridiculous hours, and sometimes miserable conditions, the stage
dressing of later warm stories. Sometimes that bond is allusive; you can see it
in others and not feel it yourself. Sometimes it just isn't there.
I left cruise life, when month after month, it became
apparent, that it was completely allusive to me.
The truth is, it’s the people. I used to always say there
was a conservation law on cruise ships, the conservation law of people who
annoy me. At any given point in time, there was a crew member that drove me
nuts. It was often a different person in any given contract and often different
people within a single contract. But, there was always one crew member that
drove me crazy.
Unfortunately, there was no conservation law for people I
loved. Some contracts were great, with a ton of people I adored, who made me
laugh, who I would stay up talking to until all hours of the night. But in the
last few contracts, this was no longer the case.
As the majority of my team went home today, I am so strongly
reminded how important the tribe is. While I still have friends onboard, the
tribe has disbanded.
The tulips are lovely this time of year in Istanbul and the
large pod of porpoises breaching the glass-flat water off the port side is calming.
Perhaps it is just the sudden contrast that made this shift
so uncomfortable, but as sadistic as it is, I must admit, I would prefer the
intense work and the tribe, to the quiet beauty of nature, if I am going to be
bound in this tower of luxury, my prison.
Stupid: The mind numbing, sleep deprived, agonizing intense, rattled month preceding today.
Cool: That I honestly can say the team I worked with somehow
made it incredible, almost enjoyable and worthwhile. So blessed to have such wonderful colleagues.
Thank you Matej, Sabine, Dejan, Harry, Rok, other Dejan,
Barry, Michael, Jasminka, Michele, Luka and Emilie. (25% Marko.).
And by extension, Michael, Uwe, Luca, Johann and Cookie
Monster.
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