Turkish Tulips and Transient Tribes

The tulips are lovely this time of year in Istanbul. Don’t ask me how I know this. I am not really sure. I know I have been here at this time of year, sometime in the past, but I could not tell you when or in what year.

This project is coming to an end, the launching of another ship, after a grueling 30 days, many exceeded 16 working hours.

The last few hours I have been alone, for the first time in weeks. It is startling in it contrast. It’s quiet, deafeningly, loudly in some strange way, quiet.

No one calling, no one emailing, no one knocking, no one speeding up to walk next to me as a transit from one place to the next, no skype messages, no text messages, no PA announcements, no one “Can I have just a minute?”

I am reminded, by this project, both of lure of working cruise ships and its alarmingly precarious fulcrum quality, a peak between something I thoroughly enjoy, like an addiction, and something more akin to incarceration.

Today, the majority of my team went home. The one that sang at dinner, the stern mother hen, the silent one, the one with the childlike curiosity of one who has never really traveled, the one that did impressions of the lighting in the cabins (HYSTERICALLY), the brother I never had. The Brit and the one with the completely out of place southern drawl let yesterday.

And now it is quiet.

One of the reasons I loved working cruise ships is because it was a lot like college. You live, work and spend every waking moment with your friends.  The comradery and common experience, despite almost literally world away cultural backgrounds, speaks to the fundamental need and joy of being part of a tribe.

One of the reasons I left, is that strong tribal bond is as intangible and consistent as the fog. Sometimes it is there, wonderful, and makes the ridiculous hours, and sometimes miserable conditions, the stage dressing of later warm stories. Sometimes that bond is allusive; you can see it in others and not feel it yourself. Sometimes it just isn't there.

I left cruise life, when month after month, it became apparent, that it was completely allusive to me.

The truth is, it’s the people. I used to always say there was a conservation law on cruise ships, the conservation law of people who annoy me. At any given point in time, there was a crew member that drove me nuts. It was often a different person in any given contract and often different people within a single contract. But, there was always one crew member that drove me crazy.

Unfortunately, there was no conservation law for people I loved. Some contracts were great, with a ton of people I adored, who made me laugh, who I would stay up talking to until all hours of the night. But in the last few contracts, this was no longer the case.

As the majority of my team went home today, I am so strongly reminded how important the tribe is. While I still have friends onboard, the tribe has disbanded.

The tulips are lovely this time of year in Istanbul and the large pod of porpoises breaching the glass-flat water off the port side is calming.

Perhaps it is just the sudden contrast that made this shift so uncomfortable, but as sadistic as it is, I must admit, I would prefer the intense work and the tribe, to the quiet beauty of nature, if I am going to be bound in this tower of luxury, my prison.

Stupid: The mind numbing, sleep deprived, agonizing intense, rattled month preceding today.

Cool: That I honestly can say the team I worked with somehow made it incredible, almost enjoyable and worthwhile.  So blessed to have such wonderful colleagues.

Thank you Matej, Sabine, Dejan, Harry, Rok, other Dejan, Barry, Michael, Jasminka, Michele, Luka and Emilie. (25% Marko.).

And by extension, Michael, Uwe, Luca, Johann and Cookie Monster.

The team on go live at 1:00AM.