Monday, May 22, 2006

The Dark Cloud Over My Head
Wherever I Go

When I left Santa Barbara in January, it was raining.

As I traveled around South America, it rained far far more than it was clear.

When I vacationed in New Hampshire, a state of emergency was declared, there was so much rain.

Now I am back in California and it is raining. It never rains here in May. I looked it up, and the precipitation average in all of May is .2 inches, and is normally in the form of wet falling fog over many days.

But I am here… so it is raining.

I feel like I have been stuck in a damp fall since last December. (There was an exception of two weeks in the Caribbean, which not even my dark cloud could dampen.)

If you know of any drought affected areas who would like to pay my airfare, I would be more than happy to visit.

OK, I am done complaining about the rain. It is time now time to conduct my obligatory complaining about the cost of gas.

Here is a crazy thought. I left in mid-January. I returned in mid-May. Gas is a dollar more per gallon than when I left. Striking, isn’t it?

And I will let you in on a dirty little secret VW does not share. I have been using my father’s cute little 2006 powder-blue VW bug. It has the worst gas mileage of any car I have ever driven. Wait, that is a lie, my Dad used to have a 1973 Buick LaSaber, 455 cc engine, seemingly 18 tons. I think it got 7 miles to the gallon. With the exception of the 1973 tank, the bug gets the worst gas mileage of any car I have ever driven.

It is stretching for 20 mpg. 20 MPG! How the hell does such a new little car use so much gas? I think it is funneling it into another universe. It is the only reasonable explanation I can come up with. (That or maybe the worst aerodynamics known to man.)

OK, review time:
Stupid: Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain.
Cool: Lush green foliage. (But not quite cool enough to justify this much rain.)
Stupid: Cute little cars that get worse gas mileage than huge SUVs.
Cool: The return of my beloved Honda with far better gas mileage.

(I love my car.)

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