Taxes, Time Zones and Euphoria, All Wrapped Up in One Post from UNalaska

This picture is Unalaska.

Today, I spent the morning configuring Spanish taxes, on a ship destined for Rome (don’t ask), via satellite communication from a ship in Unalaska, which, just so you know, is in…. Alaska.

This was after a global meeting of the minds including a London mind, lawyers from all over the EU and we are still waiting for final authorization from an Austrian in California.

As I get ready to go to bed, the thing I am most grateful for is NOT changing time zones tomorrow. After having changed time zones something like seven times in the last nine days, traveling from Japan to Alaska, I am THRILLED to be waking up in the same time zone tomorrow. No need to reset my clock tonight, no need to think of the hour less sleep I will be getting! (No need to think about which systems will handle the time change, which won't, whether Daylight Savings Time is observed or not, or for that matter where the International Dateline is compared to my current location.)

Yield to aircraft, seems a good idea.

I kind of feel like I got gypped this month in salary. My April, having crossed the international date line, will have 31 days and several of my days will have 23 hours, which means the same number of work hours, but less rest hours.  Just sayin’.

The apparent highlight of the day was the Safeway (a grocery store), in “downtown” Dutch Harbor, Alaska.  Honestly, they should have just called the town Safeway, cause if there was no Safeway, there would be no town. (That is not entirely true, but it makes a better story.)

I did yield.

Surprise of the story is, today was GLORIOUS. I suddenly understand Alaska. The light here is magical. I walked two miles into “town,” ie to Safeway, along a dirt path. It was amazing. Bald eagles everywhere, snow-capped mountains in every direction, clear, crisp, pure cold air and a northern light which induced euphoria.

Cool: Alaska and its godly, ethereal, northern light.

Stupid: Trying to apply European Union tax laws to a ship traveling from Spain to Rome, from a ship in Alaska, and missing the first chance in months to speak to my sister.

Sports utility vehicle, Alaska style.

Super Super Stupid: Trying to post this, realizing I can't because the internet is not working properly, and then being the one that has to fix it. And trying to layout pictures pretty on a slow internet connection; I ultimately gave up. And anyway, more than a day later.. POSTED.

There are two eagles on the hill in the background. I liked the "fit."

Today, April 19th, The Second - Between Russia and Alaska

Today is April 19^th, The Second.

You may ask, “What the hell is April 19^th The Second?”

April The 19th, The Second April The 19th's Writing Spot

That means, when you are on a ship, traveling east, across the international dateline, you in fact experience a date twice. First you do say twenty-four hours, which you will call April 19^th, The First April The 19^th. Then, at some time, say at 3AM, on April the 20^th, you will fairly arbitrarily decide to change time from Samoa Standard Time (UTC+13) to Hawaiian Standard Time (UTC -10), and effectively, declare yourself now at 4AM, April 19^th, The Second April The  19^th.

For the humans onboard, we distinguish these days as April The Nineteenth, The First and April The Nineteenth, The Second.

As the network administrator, I have to tell you, as confusing as it is for the humans, it can be much more confusing for the computers. Some systems really don’t handle well doing a date twice.  We out right turned off a component of our provisioning system. And how exactly do you think we tricked our restaurant booking system into taking reservations for two different days, both referred to as April 19^th on a traditional calendar. (I could tell you, but then I wouldn't earn the big bucks.)

By the end of next week, I will have spent at least twenty-three hours in every time zone on earth. That is fairly cool. And April 19^th, 2013, well that was a hell of a long day for me. It was forty-four hours long, or I lived it twice, depending on how you look at.

Cool: Experiencing real life Groundhog’s Day. (Movie reference.)

Stupid: Trying to figure out all the system problems that will slowly trickle out from having lived April 19^th twice.

Sea Fears - Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky

Yesterday, as I lay sleeping in my bed, a complete stranger knocked on my door, entered my room with keys, climbed over me in bed, closed my window, crawled back over me, left and locked my door. All without discussion.

This, by the way, is a completely accepted practice where I live.

--

Most people, truth be known, have at least one irrational fear. Spiders, dark allies, flying, germs, public speaking, something. (Strangers in my bedroom while I am sleeping, clearly not a fear.)

This morning, my shipmates and I received an email warning of “very rough seas” forecast for this evening. Few things in life bring me more anxiety than an email from the captain advising of rough seas ahead. This is after the rough seas encountered yesterday resulted in the stranger climbing over me in bed and closing my porthole.

I fear seasickness. Oh my god, do I fear seasickness.

The writing perch today.

And yes, I get seasick, very very seasick.

People laugh at me and say, “How can you get seasick? You work on a cruise ship?”

I kind of want to retort, “Do you think cruise ships would still be in business if everyone was always sick onboard?” Cruise ship companies, for the most part, plan their itineraries well aware of sea weather and seasons. We are very rarely in locations at times that coincide with bad weather. In general, I would say I average one seasick episode for every four months I am onboard.  And I am among the most sensitive people to seasickness.

Everyone will get seasick at some point, no matter how sea hardy. It is a spectrum. I am at the wimpy end of that spectrum, the very wimpy end. The teacups at Disneyland end of the spectrum.

I get seasick. I also fear getting seasick. I therefore, by (logical) transit, fear rough seas. Like all fears, the fear of rough seas is different for all people. There are many people who fear rough seas because rough seas make them fear for their lives. When the ship lists a bit and gets jarred around, they actually fear the ship will sink. Strangely, I see this fear far more in men than women and far more in bigger men than smaller men. I think there is an aspect of control these men are accustom to that rough seas takes from them. Anyway, I digress.

I fear feeling seasick, the actual sensation of nausea, headache and dizziness. And I would like to argue, that this is not an irrational fear (though the degree might be irrational).

As I sit here, anchored, listening to the howling winds, our ship is being buffeted. You can actually see the wind rippling the water. 

I can only imagine what the night ahead will bring.

But I suppose dwelling on the inevitable does me no good.

Stupid: Rough Seas.

Stupid: Closed Portholes.

Cool: Random strong sailors climbing into bed with you... oh wait, my parents read this.

Cool: Surviving.

Normal Life Living on a Cruise Ship (Dalian, China)

Also file under, “How living on a cruise ship is different than normal life.”

Weird things you find yourself saying frequently on a cruise ship:  “I have to be up for immigration at 6am.”

Yesterday was just one of those grueling days. It started with said immigration check and went non-stop until 7:30pm. It involved a major network hardware failure, a satellite communication failure, disembarking 600 people, embarking 600 people and setting up 15 laptops (we needed two more but the keyboards were bad).  These were the headlines. Add to that an enormous amount of general stuff that comes my way like accounting reports not balancing, payroll issues, password changes, printer malfunctions, and and and… It was a banner day. I did take a half hour for lunch. I may have had dinner, but I honestly don’t remember at this point.

That is stupid number one: Grueling work days.

The cool is when you finally decide you have had enough of dealing with all that, that things are band-aided enough until tomorrow, and you can blow work early (yes, 7:30pm is considered blowing work early), it is only a three minute walk to the spa and steam room. Oh the spa and steam room, how I did deserve thee yesterday.

Cool: Living three-minutes walk from a spa and steam room.

Stupid number two: Broken headphones and the search for their replacement.

My headphones broke (probably got that from the stupid statement). So I needed to head out and buy new ones. Being that today we are Dalian, China, this meant going into Dalian China. An hour and a half after leaving my office (had to change, deal with immigration and catch a bus), I arrived at the shops.  Next, I had to find a shop that sold earphones. Luckily earphones have a good universal symbol: stick your fingers in your ears and dance a little. People generally get the idea what you are looking for.

I found earphones, “Yeah!” 

Oh, but, he wanted the equivalent to $50 for them. I DON’T THINK SO.

We haggle a bit. We get to $30. I give up.

There is no way I am paying $30 for earphones.  

I search some more. 

No luck.

The outing: 3-hours.

Outing outcome:  Nada. No earphones.

Stupid: How hard it can be to get simple things when living on a cruise ship.

In hindsight, having written this, I realize how stupid it was not to pay the $30. I am going to have to do the whole dance (somewhat literally, with my fingers in my ears) again in some other port.

But there is a cool, and it is the collateral damage....

Cool: Taiwanese Taro Mochi! I love this stuff. 

I guess I should explain what that is for my non-Asian readers. Taro is a fruit. Mochi is usually a rice based pastry dough. The taro is made into a kind of paste filling. Then the rice dough goes on the outside. Taro stuff is generally a light purple (like strawberry stuff is generally a red). It is lovely, light purple doughy pastry. I need to find these things in the US. I have no doubt there are somewhere. They may even be at my local supermarket given how Asian my area is.

And lastly, the view as I write.  I had no idea what this building was and neither does Google or Wikipedia. I guess it is very new.

I felt bad leaving this as a cliff hanger, so, after much searching, it is apparently the Dalian International Conference Center. 

Interesting. I have to say... it looks far nicer on the architectural drawings available online than it does in real life, but perhaps that is the effect of the smog.

Back to work.