Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Back? Home? Again?


It is 5am, in Bordeaux, France, where I sit writing.

I was not supposed to be here. I left my ship in Iceland two weeks ago for what was supposed to be the last time, for the third last time.

And yet here I sit, having just flown back from LA.

I am an addict. I am a ship life addict. I have had a terrible relapse this year.

As I sit in my cabin, waiting for dawn so I can walk the banks of the river and perhaps pick up some cafĂ© coffee, I thought I would tell you what it is like to be a rock star. (Not that I actually know… but bear with me.)

One of the glorious appealing things about ship life is the welcome upon your return. I received an email, two days before my arrival, welcoming back and informing me that the red carpet had been cleaned for my arrival. (This was from my bosses’ boss. Someone who should basically only know my name… but the ship is small and my laugh is large.)

Upon return, you are literally welcomed with open arms by everyone you pass. You feel like returning royalty.  Perhaps you are tempted to think there is something special about me that makes people welcome me with open arms. There isn't. This is just the way it is.

For me, the hugs of welcome are generally followed by, “I need your help with…” but that does not make me feel less loved. Perhaps it makes me feel more so because I feel useful and needed.

As I walked through the corridors last night, hugging people, getting made fun of by my family for returning so quickly and my signature laugh, I knew I was home.

What is perhaps hardest about this, is this time, I really do think it is the last time.

Cool: Home, on a ship, in Bordeaux, France with the love of friends and the love of colleagues.

Stupid: Knowing that for me, this comfortable amazing place, with people I love, is not the foundation for a better tomorrow and that it is, in fact, time to go.


P.S. As I walked through my masters’ graduation two days ago, in my brief, twelve-day whirlwind through home, I was stunned to find out how many people were reading my posts. In my last hurrah, I do hope to share with everyone more stupid things and cool things of ship life.

Pictures from a rainy Bordeaux morning:



No comments: