After being diagnosis with metastatic breast cancer (aka
this time it is going to kill me), I spent a couple of weeks looking at my
options… and then carried on with life which meant flying (chemotherapy packed)
to the tropical nation of Seychelles for a month long business trip.
On my way home I swung through Italy.
Now, as I prepare to return home, I realize, I am terrified
of returning home.
Seychelles was long days of work, very few less than ten
hours a day. And Seychelles was days of not talking about cancer.
My friend Kristin says I am not exactly ignoring cancer,
because I am taking the shots and the medication.
But I realize for the most part, I have been hiding from it.
On Wednesday, I will have a nephew. My family's first of the
next generation. A tearful reminder to me, that I will never have children.
On Thursday, I will have blood tests which will tell me how
well this treatment is working…. How I am doing on buying time.
I may be alone in a hotel room in Italy, with not a friend
nearby… but at least cancer is a world away.
I am terrified to go home.
