The Dark Cloud Over My Head Wherever I Go

When I left Santa Barbara in January, it was raining.

As I traveled around South America, it rained far far more than it was clear.

When I vacationed in New Hampshire, a state of emergency was declared, there was so much rain.

Now I am back in California and it is raining. It never rains here in May. I looked it up, and the precipitation average in all of May is .2 inches, and is normally in the form of wet falling fog over many days.

But I am here… so it is raining.

I feel like I have been stuck in a damp fall since last December. (There was an exception of two weeks in the Caribbean, which not even my dark cloud could dampen.)

If you know of any drought affected areas who would like to pay my airfare, I would be more than happy to visit.

OK, I am done complaining about the rain. It is time now time to conduct my obligatory complaining about the cost of gas.

Here is a crazy thought. I left in mid-January. I returned in mid-May. Gas is a dollar more per gallon than when I left. Striking, isn’t it?

And I will let you in on a dirty little secret VW does not share. I have been using my father’s cute little 2006 powder-blue VW bug. It has the worst gas mileage of any car I have ever driven. Wait, that is a lie, my Dad used to have a 1973 Buick LaSaber, 455 cc engine, seemingly 18 tons. I think it got 7 miles to the gallon. With the exception of the 1973 tank, the bug gets the worst gas mileage of any car I have ever driven.

It is stretching for 20 mpg. 20 MPG! How the hell does such a new little car use so much gas? I think it is funneling it into another universe. It is the only reasonable explanation I can come up with. (That or maybe the worst aerodynamics known to man.)

OK, review time:
Stupid: Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain.
Cool: Lush green foliage. (But not quite cool enough to justify this much rain.)
Stupid: Cute little cars that get worse gas mileage than huge SUVs.
Cool: The return of my beloved Honda with far better gas mileage.

(I love my car.)

Where have you been?

Before I left the ship, there was a list of countries going around, nearly 150 listed. The idea was to count how many countries you had been to. I had coworkers who were around 100.

Why did I leave the ship, you may wonder. I am on vacation. I didn’t want to go on vacation. I sort of feel like I was voted off the ship or forced into exile. But everyone is exiled periodically, so I guess it is ok.

Anyway, here is my list as best as I can remember. When you live on a ship, you don’t pay that much attention.

You spend a lot of time saying, “Where are we?”

Followed by “Um, yeah, what country is that?”

Countries visited this year:

1. Antigua and Barbados, aka Wadadli
2. St. Lucia
3. Panama
4. Costa Rica
5. French Guiana
6. Brazil
7. Uruguay
8. Argentina
9. Chile
10. Portugal
11. UK

Last year (excluding ones from this year):
12. Italy
13. Monaco
14. Spain
15. France
16. Netherlands
17. Channel Islands (Bailiwick of Guernsey)
18. Ireland
19. Norway
20. Denmark
21. Sweden
22. Finland
23. Germany
24. Estonia
25. Russia
26. Canada
27. Iceland
28. Poland
29. Belgium

Previous years (exclusion of recent years)
30. Mexico
31. Israel
32. Egypt


I return to Croatia on June 16.

And here is a random picture, me and a penguin in Ushuaia. Ushuaia proclaims itself the end of the world, being it is the most southern city on earth. If you ever go to Antarctica (as I am sure you all will) you will stop at Ushuaia first.

Where your camera has been...

First, this is just the best picture of life onboard. Anna, a Swed (as if you couldn't tell by looking at her), is showing her viking roots.

She is so perfect; she looks like a beer commercial.



And then there are the other photographs....

If you leave a camera in the bar, it is traditional for the finders to try to get the worse possible shots with the abandoned camera.

I got my camera back, and I think the laugh is on those unfortunate souls who participated in this experiment.

First came the usual drunk photos:




Then it escalated:





You too can get drunk pictures like this... just follow Robb's simple instructions. Robb, an actor onboard coached people on full facial relaxation. Then, after a couple minutes, he had people shake their heads side to side as vigorously as possible.

And the results...





You be the judge.

Salvador, Brazil

Salvador was a magical place of colors, mosaics and churches. And amazing food.

So without further adu, pictures:

This building’s entry archways are decorated with a cachophony of brilliant color swatches.



This is a sample of the building architecture and color. The street are all irregular stone.



Showing clear Portuguese lineage, the many sidewalks are alternating waves of yellow and black stone, identical to the ones I saw in Lisbon last year.



This picture… just goes under my hysterical moments. This guy, in full native Amazon attire… is walking down a city street talking on his cell phone.



And the whole street without the close up because Mark did not believe it:



And this goes under the heading of artwork from what is at hand. This is a purse and pantsuit made entirely of soda can tabs.



And since you can’t really see it well, here is a close up

Salvadorsodatabscloseup

Salvador is a vertical city. By that I mean the topography is extreme. Parts are at sea level and parts are well over a hundred feet up. The difference between the two areas is one extreme cliff line. And if your walking, the way you get from one area to the other, is by elevator. This is a picture of the elevator.



This is a picture looking down to the roof tops below over the cliffs edge in another area of town.



And to put Isla Vista to shame… I found the best artwork from stuff at hand shop…

This is a windchime made of shot classes.



Full length ones are available as door drapes.

And lastly, proving I am a girl, I bought an awesome purse. The purse is a tight woven basket weeve.



The end. (in other words... I need zzzs.)

Eastover

You have heard of Chrismakah, now welcome EastOver. And as all good Jewish girls, I dawned a pair of rabbit ears all day for Easter.

The ears extended my height from maybe 5’2 when wearing heels to, I don’t know, taller. How do you damn tall people walk around!? I got my ears caught on everything!!!!

Being 5’2 is way easier. Just for future reference.

Now here is a quiz:

Ship terms:

(For each term on the left there is at least one correct answer on the right.)

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1. Swing I swing. 2. Escort I escorted in Rio. 3. Double-Up You want to double-up next cruise? 4. Shower with a Friend The Captain has asked us to shower with a friend. 5. Reefer Party Are you going to the Reefer Party? 6. OooLaLah Hey OoLaLah! 7. Ship’s Bicycle She is one of the ship’s bicycles.

a) Water conservation efforts are in place. b) The name of the Geisha onboard c) Someone who switches between ships as part of their position. d) A woman who gets around. e) Someone who guides guest tours. f) Share a room on a particularly busy cruise for monetary compensation. g) A bicycle available for rent at the crew office. h) Refrigeration Engineers Saturday Night Get-Together

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Answers: 1c, 2e, 3f, 4a or f, 5h, 6b, 7d or g.