Day Three of Storm Watch 2004
*Third day of rain in October… my arc building is definitely behind.
Being that it is dry here something like 330 days a year, California often does not bother with things like storm drains or roads at an angle so rain runs off. Arguably the roads are intentionally lower so that rain will follow the roads and be just as miserable in traffic as we are.
We have had nearly three-fourths an inch of rain since Saturday. We are now in flash flood warning stages, honest. (See, our ground is as hard and impenetrable as concrete after six dry months curing in the California sun. So water is not absorbed into the ground where it falls. It just keeps running until it finds the ocean or nice rug, which ever comes first.)
Today my flash flood encounter was in a parking lot. The water was six inches high. There was no way around it. The choice was wait perhaps an hour in the parking lot or go through the water. I am impatient; waiting was only a nominal option. I began calculations. My car was going to drift in the water; there was no doubt about that. The question was how far my car would drift in this fast moving water before I made it through the other side. (If I drifted too far, a new Mercedes would stop me.) Plus, flooding my engine was a consideration in my car. End of story, everyone one lived, including the Mercedes. Point? Beats the shit out of me, but it has nothing to do with god being a guy, which is my point, hopefully soon.
At a different time today, I was on my way to an exam. No one called me all day. Therefore, I got two phone calls on the way out, and was now running comfortably on time, instead of early. (I would find out later, that my drive would be three times as long in slippery wet stuff, thereby making me just plain late.)
Now off the phone, I went fishing through a storage closet for my umbrella. I have not used an umbrella for nine months. My skills are admittedly rusty. But I thought it would be like a bike, and I would just open it up and it would work.
No. I had a fight with the umbrella. It looked like the umbrella was going to win, but in a stunning lose-lose maneuver, I broke the umbrella. Apparently I should have been practicing over the dry summer. I just used too much force to open it. I feel so incompetent. But they should have seminars.
OK…. So, at this point, I grab my raincoat. I bought my raincoat for $12 dollars in ‘97 used maybe 20 times since. Raincoats are for desperation. Otherwise you just don’t leave the house when it is raining (see earlier entries regarding the fear of melting).
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Italics is off point... imagine that. Skip if desired.
Another side note, I went to a University of California. I kid you not, I have had finals cancelled due to rain. While I am on the subject of exams, not even my teacher made it to my exam today due to rain. Of course, we still had to take the exam.
The exam had questions analogous to this: (Just choose one) A domesticated animal with four legs and a tail is: a) dog, b) cat, c) horse, d) rabbit.
(My point is arguably all could be considered the correct answer.)
An exact question (for those of you familiar with even the vaguest notions of network security): The goal when developing a(n) __________ is to define the organization's expectations for computer and network use. A) acceptable use policy, B) acceptable use plan, C) security use policy, D) security plan.
(If you care for an answer and explanation, comment on this entry.)
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The title of this entry regards god’s masculinity. A page later and I have yet to get there.
So, I am leaving my house, braving the conditions, unnerving and potentially deadly (have you seen a Californian drive in the rain?). I close my door to make a run for my car, without the umbrella lying dead on my living room floor and with the $12 raincoat from 1997.
Imagine, in slow motion, me, in a v-neck, turning under the eaves, as a wind suddenly stirs and brings down a spout of water, falling, falling, slipping between my collar and my skin, straight into my cleavage. Pooled there nicely between my breasts and apparently water absorbing bra.
My entire bra soaks quickly, much to some “heavenly” twelve-year-old boy’s overflowing laughing delight. (Amazing shot too, missed my head and my entire shirt.)
I had no time to change.
Thus, God must be a man.
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